He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
