he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
and she was petting her beer can
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
