Do vagina's smell?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
