I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
