Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
