Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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