Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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