the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
