So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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