Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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