hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
