I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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