My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
