Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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