Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
