I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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