Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize