Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Randomize
