I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You're like the curious george of whores
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
