i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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