she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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