Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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