there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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