If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
