yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just gargled with NyQuil
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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