I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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