what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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