I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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