I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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