I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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