I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
