In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
