so that wasnt chicken after all
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
