addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize