I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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