will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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