is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
