dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
