her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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