I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
