after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I think people are normalizing furries
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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