dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
