You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
