yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
