I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just found a bag of teeth...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
