Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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