They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
