when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
