Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
