Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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