I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
