A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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