god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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