come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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