I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
