that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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