just come out here and I will go home with you...
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
