Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
