Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
