i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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