No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
