I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize