she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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