my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize