summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
