So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Non-Jews are for practice
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
