I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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