dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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