he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
