It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
