He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
it glows. i had to have it.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
