I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
